Friday, February 10, 2012

Madness #1

I have a problem staying focused for more than three minutes at a time. I'm having a horrible time reading a good book or watching a well made movie. I can't focus on my art; I can't even look at art for long periods of time without getting distracted. School has become a struggle because I can't finish or even read my books.

I'm a pathological liar. I try to tell the truth, but for some reason, every person that I come in contact with hears an extreme exaggeration or lie, just because. I don't have a reason to lie, but I do it anyway.

I can't consolidate my ideas or thoughts. I have two different opinions about politics, art and how to raise my dog. I'm going insane because I think two different things at the same time, and I can't figure out which idea I like more.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to cry because I want to be normal. I want to be able to read a book or watch a movie in one sitting. I want to be able to actually finish a book. I want to have lots of ideas about things, of course, but I want to have a good opinion. Not many opinions, just one. And I want to be honest with people. I don't want to keep lying.

I just want to be functional again.

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